Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
