wakey wakey hands off snakey
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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