i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize