all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
