"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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