just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
