Fine. I'll sleep in my office
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
