we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
