I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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