There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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