i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
