just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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