Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
