I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
