Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
