Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
