New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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