you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There's always time for handjobs
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
