Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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