is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
