only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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