I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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