he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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