And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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