5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
