dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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