So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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