Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
