I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
