check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Are my feet made of real feet?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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