So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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