I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
