Sry I called you an 8
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
