I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
