Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
