The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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