Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize