I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
