Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
try to milk me bitch
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