He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
