I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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