I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
