Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
