so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
