just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't deserve a penis
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
