I understand why you refuse to be sober now
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
