But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
