I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
