apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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