I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
