You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
