Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
