You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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