So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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