Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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