wrigley field is MILF paradise
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
