she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
