i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
