Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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