just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
