turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
